I re-read the last post a couple of times before beginning this one. I wrote that post when Raaya was only 11 days old. 11 days! And here I am sat writing another one just a couple of days before she turns 11 months. Honestly, these 11 months have flown by. It’s all very blurry. All I remember is I did not enjoy the initial three months. It was overwhelming, draining, and too much to handle, but then who said newborns were easy eh? Well no one. But also, nobody told me how difficult it could be. It took me a good three months to finally start enjoying motherhood. I love her now, I loved her then, but it was all so emotionally and physically consuming. The guilt, when your baby is crying and you can’t figure out why, is unexplainable. New mums, this is for you! Be easy on yourself, you will get there. I did, you will too! It’s difficult, but rewarding.
I am enjoying every minute of my life with this little bundle of joy who has started throwing tantrums, blowing raspberries, clapping, opening her arms for cuddles, saying dadda, papa, and mamma (in that particular order). She keeps drawing attention towards herself with all those smiles and laughs. Not a single person passes by without a smile from her. I really hope she doesn’t do it out of obligation.
She is turning 1 next month. This one year has been the best one of my life. As they say you don’t know what unconditional love is until you have a baby. My heart explodes with love each time she looks at me, even though she prefers her daddy over me. For now I am enjoying the cuddles and her funny little personality, and hoping that I raise her right.